Thursday 30 January 2014

Throwaway novels - the best pitches of 2014 (so far)



 "And as I saw the next letter in the word, my whole body froze... it was a Z. AGAIN."

"Those two dots above the u still haunt my dreams to this day - they constitute what I can only describe as the doom-laut."




Keyboard Nightmares, a futuristic novel about a man who has an irrational fear of typing complicated words on computer keyboards.
***


“You think you’re hot shit, huh? Well, Harvey, I don’t like your fucking teeth.”

Swagger, a novella about a young actor who, in split-second decision, changes the final lines to a much-anticipated play during its opening night performance, thereby completely changing its meaning forever.

***

"If you look at the following picture (fig. 1) closely, you will see a perfectly aesthetic portrayal of a kiss between lovers by the very talented Auguste Rodin. What you will also see, in the lower right-hand corner of said picture, is a swastika. QED." 


Love is Shit, a collection of (non-)scientific essays on why love just isn't "all that."

***

"Tensely, they watched the news broadcast. It said that the thief had been caught and questioned, but nothing was found inside the teddy bear he tried to steal. There was really nothing for them to do, except neck each other passionately."

The Bunny Conspiracy, a novel about two teenage detectives who take it upon themselves to solve the case of why toys are being stolen from children in weird random incidents and who may or may not fall in love with each other while doing so. They may also turn into horses at some point.


***

"As I type this, I am much more occupied with looking out of the window, checking out the guys walking past. Erm. Where was I?"


title goes here lol, an autobiographic novel about a novelist who just cannot concentrate on her work, but gets published anyway.
 

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